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Celebrating The Lessons Of Life
If someone had knocked on a door anywhere in Big Bear Sunday evening, Jan. 27, chances are no one was home. Everyone was crowded into Bear Bottom Lodge at Snow Summit celebrating.
The crowd wasn’t a group of rowdy party goers. They were celebrating the life of Bob Sokolowski, better known as Soko. I can’t tell you how many hundreds of people were there, but there were hundreds. It was a testament to how many lives Soko touched in this Valley.
I didn’t know Soko very well. I know his wife, Deneece, better and covered his sons, Bobby and Kenny, as Big Bear athletes. What I do know is Soko was always there. If his sons were playing football or skiing, or on the baseball field, Soko was there. At the celebration of life, both sons told of their father’s dedication. They each shared stories of lessons they learned from their father about life and doing the right thing.
Kenny told about wanting to ride the bus to a ski race. Dad got him to Northern California and the bus, Soko followed along, spending his 50th birthday on the road. Kenny got sick, Soko took care of his son, going so far as a little thievery to provide a utensil so his son could eat ice cream to soothe his sore throat. Kenny told his Dad he should have skipped the bus and made the trip with him. Lesson learned, Soko told his son.
Bobby’s memory is also of a ski race. Soko was near the finish as Bobby raced down, missing the last gate. Soko saw it, but the judges missed the mistake. Soko gave his son the opportunity to tell the judges now or later. The boy took his second run, and his time was good enough to earn a trophy. The easy thing would be to take the trophy and head home. Soko told his son doing the right thing in life isn’t always easy. Bobby informed the judges and left the trophy behind, but not the lesson.
As I looked around the room Jan. 27, I remarked to my husband that it seemed like old home week. So many people touched by one man left behind to wonder why he is gone too soon. When someone dies, the survivors are left with what seems like a gaping hole. I don’t think it matters if the person died suddenly, after a long illness or after a long and fruitful life. The spot that person once occupied is vacant.
But I’ve learned that void isn’t empty. The person who once filled that space physically now fills it with his or her heart. The space is filled with the love he or she leaves behind. The memories of the loved one’s life, every step taken on every road traveled, and every lesson learned and shared are what fills the space.
The celebration of life wasn’t just about Soko’s life. The gathering was a way to reconnect those he cared about and envelop his wife and sons in memories of love as they discover that the space really isn’t empty at all. Soko’s lessons live on with his sons to share with their sons or daughters some day. The celebration of life was the right thing to do.
~ by Judi Bowers | The Grizzly Times | January 30, 2013
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